When Help Becomes Substitution
Part 2 of a series on role drift and ownership
At EduCoach, we’ve started using the phrase role drift — and once we named it, we couldn’t stop seeing it.
This week alone, I’ve seen:
A principal personally fielding every parent complaint because “my team isn’t ready for that yet.”
A principal doing her administrative assistant’s work because “she’ll do it too slowly.”
Leaders clarifying every decision at the end of meetings.
Leaders answering questions that were never really directed at them.
At first glance, this appears to be commitment.
But when help consistently removes struggle instead of building judgment, it stops being support and becomes substitution.
When that happens, thinking migrates upward and ownership thins out.
The Harder Truth
When I first drafted this piece, I wrote:
Most leaders don’t intend to replace other people’s thinking.
And that’s often true. But the more we discussed role drift, the more I saw something harder. Sometimes leaders do intentionally replace someone else’s thinking.
But this is about belief. They don’t trust the capacity in the room. They don’t believe the teacher or leader is ready. They don’t think the team can land the decision without them.
So they step in — because they’ve decided the work is safer in their hands.
Whether intentional or unconscious, the outcome is the same:
Thinking concentrates.
Ownership shrinks.
Dependence grows.
Why Help Feels So Effective
Substitution persists because it works — at least in the short term.
Stepping in reduces uncertainty. Cognitive science shows that when people feel overwhelmed, they naturally offload thinking to the most confident authority in the room (Remember the Milgram reference in my Spain story?). When a leader intervenes, everyone’s mental load drops.
Relief feels like effectiveness. It’s not.
While relief resolves tension, it often bypasses the very conditions required for learning: effort, uncertainty, and ownership.
Systems under pressure reward calm more than capacity. So leaders keep stepping in.
“She Just Needs Support”
Imagine a leader noticing a teacher struggling with rigorous planning. So they co-plan. Then co-teach. Then the leader steps in when students get confused.
The results look positive:
Lessons improve.
Students engage more.
The teacher expresses gratitude.
But months later, nothing has transferred. When left alone, the teacher freezes again.
What happened?
Modeling without release does not build independence. Gradual release only works when responsibility actually moves. When support stays too close for too long, the learner adapts — by waiting.
The Meeting That Depends on You
In leadership teams, substitution looks different. One person always clarifies the goal, synthesizes the conversation, and makes the final call. Meetings run smoothly. Alignment increases.
But when that leader is absent, decisions stall. The team says, “Let’s wait until she’s back.”
Organizational research refers to this decision as “centralization.” Authority consolidates around the person who resolves ambiguity fastest. Over time, teams don’t lose intelligence. They lose permission to use it.
Why Substitution Persists
Substitution is reinforced at every level:
Neurologically: Relief feels rewarding.
Socially: People express gratitude.
Culturally: Responsiveness is praised.
Personally: Helping reinforces ego or self-proclaimed identity.
Stepping back produces the opposite signals:
Visible struggle
Awkward silence
Slower progress
Risk of short-term failure
So leaders keep stepping in — not because they distrust others, but because they distrust the moment.
The Transfer Test
Here’s the diagnostic:
Does performance improve only when I’m present — or does it show up later, without me?
If thinking is not practiced independently, it does not generalize. Support that removes struggle may improve today’s outcome, but it weakens tomorrow’s judgment.
The cost of substitution is fragile performance.
The Belief Beneath It
In Burn the Script, I describe this as a belief-level mismatch.
The leader believes:
If I don’t step in, I’m failing them.
The system learns:
If we wait long enough, someone else will think for us.
Until that belief shifts, substitution will continue to masquerade as care.
A Better Question
The question isn’t: Am I being supportive?
It’s: What is this help training people to do next time?
The difference has nothing to do with warmth or tone — and everything to do with where the thinking lives after the moment passes.
Closing Reflection
When I step in, whose discomfort am I relieving?
What skill is being practiced — or bypassed?
If I weren’t here next time, what would happen?
In what situations do you find yourself stepping in the most? What does that tell you about the capacity that needs to be built?
Help always teaches something. The question is whether it teaches dependence — or ownership.
Let’s discuss! Drop a comment about your experiences with substitution and role drift.
Want to build this muscle and get technical? Check out this oldie but goodie from August 2024:
From Compliance to Ownership: The Power of Redirecting Questions
It’s back-to-school PD season. Handbooks, procedures, and practices are rolled out to staff with perfectly manicured slide decks featuring a few turn-and-talks. Naturally, questions come up.
Such an important point and I love the questions you pose at the end! I see the same pattern with students. When adults step in too quickly, we may solve the problem, but we also take away the chance to build judgment, problem-solving, and confidence. The balance between support and productive struggle is everything.