You didn’t come into leadership to become the villain.
You didn’t spend years in the classroom thinking, “One day I’m going to send soul-sucking emails and cancel planning periods without apology.”
And yet… here we are.
You had a script. You said you were going to burn it. And somehow you’re back to reading the old one again.
Not because you’re a sellout.
Because systems are strong.
Because pressure is relentless.
Because power rewires identity when we’re not looking.
Because you never built a new script to begin with.
This is the part where we stop surviving and start remembering.
Quick Recap: How We Got Here
We’ve spent four issues together exploring how good leaders repeat bad patterns and how admin-nesia isn’t a personal flaw. It’s structural, psychological, and damn near inevitable without interruption.
Let’s hit the high notes:
“Most admin-nesia isn’t hypocrisy. It’s survival.”
– Part 2
“The people above you rate you. The people below you remember you.”
– Part 2
“Power shrinks perspective. You interpret silence as consent.”
– Part 3
“You don’t just forget the script. You forget who you were when you wrote it.”
– Part 3
“Power doesn’t just shape decisions—it reshapes identity.”
– Part 4
Now we begin to build the counterweight.
Resisting admin-nesia isn’t about remembering everything. It’s about remembering the right things—at the right moment—before power, pressure, and pace erase your purpose.
Anchoring Practice: Your New Ritual for Not Forgetting
This moment isn’t theoretical. It’s real.
You’re about to make a decision.
Send the email. Plan the PD. Respond to the teacher. Walk into the meeting.
The old you—the classroom you, the values-centered you—would handle this one way.
The system-trained you, the “compliance comes first” you, might handle it another.
So how do you know which version of you is making the call?
You pause.
You anchor.
You choose.
Tool: The Admin-nesia Anchor Protocol
This 5-step protocol is designed to be used in real time—before a decision that carries weight.
Name the Moment
What decision are you about to make? What’s at stake? Why does it feel hard?Identify the Drift
Ask: Is this decision aligned with my values—or with what I’ve been trained to do under pressure?
Where have I seen this script before? Who wrote it?Pull an Anchor
Use a centering script to re-ground your decision. Choose one that speaks to people, power, or circumstance.
Examples:
“Structure is how I create freedom.”
“Urgency culture is not the boss of me.”
“My job isn’t to sound smart—it’s to make others feel seen.”
Rewrite the Script
Change your wording. Shift the tone. Add clarity. Subtract compliance theater. Say what you actually mean.Reflect
After it’s done, check in: Did I lead from my values or my fear? What did I learn? What might I do differently next time?
Rewriting the Script Starts with Language
So many harmful leadership habits are kept alive by the words we use without thinking.
“Let’s be mindful of our time.” → Translation: You’re not doing enough.
“We’re just holding people accountable.” → Translation: We’re making a threat.
“This is aligned to our district priorities.” → Translation: I’m scared to say what I really think.
If we want to rewrite the system, we have to rewrite the sentences.
Remember This
Beliefs don’t change because someone tells you to change.
They change when someone offers you a better one that feels safe enough to try.
That’s what anchoring is.
It’s saying: I remember what I believe. I remember who I said I’d be. And I will not hand that over just because I’m tired or afraid.
Try This Now: Build Your Anchor Bank
Here’s a starter list. Circle 3 that hit. Cross out 3 that don’t. Write your own. Tape them to your desk. Post one in your office. Use them like armor.
PEOPLE:
“I don’t need to prove I’m tough to be clear.”
“I can be proud and open to critique.”
“I lead through invitation, not intimidation.”
“Empathy isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.”
POWER:
“My title is a tool—not an identity.”
“Clarity isn’t cruelty.”
“I am allowed to be transparent.”
“Influence > control.”
CIRCUMSTANCE:
“Just because it's urgent doesn’t mean it's important.”
“Panic is not a leadership strategy.”
“I lead better when I slow down.”
“I am not here to do the district’s dirty work.”
Final Word: You’re the Author Now
You’re not just reacting anymore.
You’re writing again.
So write something worth remembering.
And if you forget (as we all do)…
Pause.
Anchor.
Rewrite.
Let’s burn the old script—and make space for a new one. I bet it’ll feel better.
Now, on to the book…
Burn the Script: How Great Coaches Disrupt Thinking and Transform Practice is about belief. The beliefs that keep people stuck. The ones that keep us performing instead of transforming. The ones we don’t even realize we’re still carrying.
If you follow me on Instagram or TikTok, you’ve seen the series I’ve been working on—raw, personal stories about disruptions in my own life. They’ve been hard to write. Harder to live. But here’s what I want you to hear:
This work works.
It’s not theoretical. It’s not packaged inspiration. It’s lived.
And yeah—it’s scary.
So thank you to every single person who’s shown support—whether that’s a like, a message, or literally holding my hand while I cry.
But I need to say this:
I don’t want you to buy this book because of my backstory.
That would feel like capitalizing on pain—pain I caused others. That’s not what this is about.
I also don’t want you to buy it because of my title, my job, or my position. I keep those things vague on purpose. Writing is part of who I am now, and if people in my world find me, so be it. But this is not a brand play. If anything, I want to hide most days.
And please—don’t buy the book because I’ve sunk thousands of dollars into it. That’s not your burden to carry. I’m not interested in guilt-based marketing.
So why should someone buy this book?
Because I believe it will help.
Because it’s built to solve the real, painful, persistent problems that coaches and leaders are dealing with right now.
Here are 6 of the biggest ones I hear every week—and ones I’ve lived through myself:
1. You’re stuck coaching the same problem over and over.
No matter how many strategies you suggest, the behavior doesn’t shift.
→ Why? Because the belief hasn’t shifted. Until the mindset changes, the action won’t.
2. People agree with you in the moment—but nothing happens after.
They nod. They smile. And then… nothing.
→ Why? You triggered compliance, not transformation. You didn’t reach the belief layer.
3. You’re exhausted from carrying the emotional weight of change.
You want it more than they do—and it’s draining you.
→ Why? You’re over-functioning for someone who hasn’t bought into the why. That’s a mindset gap, not a motivation gap.
4. You’ve tried being supportive, then direct, then strategic… still no shift.
You’ve cycled through every coaching stance you know.
→ Why? You’re addressing behavior, but their resistance is identity-based. New techniques can’t touch what feels like a threat to the self.
5. You’re afraid of pushing too hard and triggering shame or shutdown.
You want to go deeper—but not at the cost of the relationship.
→ Why? You need language that disrupts with care. That’s what I teach in Burn the Script: how to say the hard thing without making people feel small.
6. You’ve internalized that it’s your job to fix people.
So when they don’t grow, you think you failed.
→ Why? Because you’re stuck in a script too. You were taught that your worth comes from helping others succeed—even when it drains you.
If any of that hits—Burn the Script is for you.
Presales go live August 4. I’d be honored to have your support, but more than that, I’d love to walk with you as we disrupt these old mindsets together.
But I know it won’t be as a “consultant” (more on this later).