Part 3: Admin-nesia - When Authority Distorts Agency
How the Power-Identity loop changes who we are and what we believe
The Hall Pass and the Glass Office
Marcus didn’t start out this way.
He used to say things like,
“I want to be the kind of leader who listens.”
“I’ll never forget what it’s like to be a teacher.”
He meant it.
When he took over as assistant principal at Glenwood Middle, he had been teaching eighth-grade history just two years earlier. His classroom was loud, alive, and full of laughter. He remembered what it was like to feel scrutinized, to be handed “non-negotiables” with no say in the matter. He hated the way power had been used in his building—and he swore he’d use it differently.
And then the hall pass thing happened.
It started small. Teachers were letting students wander—some of them for fifteen minutes at a time. Office referrals were piling up. The principal asked Marcus to “tighten things up.” So he created a new system: digital hall passes, five minutes max. No exceptions.
But teachers pushed back.
One said, “This isn’t realistic.”
Another called it “punitive.”
A veteran teacher emailed the area superintendent behind his back to complain.
So Marcus did what many first-time leaders do under pressure:
He shut the door to his glass office and doubled down.
“If they don’t like it, they can come talk to me.”
“We can’t run a school on good intentions.”
“I’m just following expectations.”
But something deeper was happening.
The Power–Identity Loop in Action
Marcus didn’t know it, but he was caught in the loop.
① Power Was Modeled:
As a new teacher, Marcus had worked under an authoritarian AP who made him cry in his car more than once. That leader never offered feedback without condescension. Never trusted Marcus to lead anything unsupervised. Power was used to control, not support.
② Beliefs Formed:
“Pushback gets you labeled.”
“Asking for clarity makes you look weak.”
“If you want to survive, you follow the rules.”
③ Behavior Adapted:
Now that Marcus held power, he used it the only way he knew how—through control. He stopped inviting feedback. He measured success by compliance. He traded vulnerability for decisiveness.
④ Identity Shifted:
He wasn’t the “listening leader” anymore. He started to believe that real leadership meant being unbothered. Detached. Professional. Strong.
“If I show doubt, I’ll lose authority.”
⑤ Power Was Reinforced:
His principal praised him for being “on top of logistics.” Teachers stopped pushing back—at least directly. But resentment grew. Trust thinned. And the very thing Marcus feared—disconnection—was exactly what his power, left unchecked, had created.
The Admin-nesia Twist
Marcus didn’t forget what it was like to be a teacher.
He remembered perfectly. That’s why he was overcompensating.
What he forgot was who he wanted to be as a leader—because the system taught him a few things:
Being “nice” wouldn’t keep things under control.
Transparency could be used against him.
Showing empathy might be mistaken for weakness.
He stopped using power as a resource. He started using it as a shield.
Coaching Implication
When we finally talked, I didn’t ask Marcus about the hall pass system.
I asked, “When did you stop trusting your own instincts?”
That opened the door to a different kind of reflection—one that wasn’t about logistics, but about belief.
Together, we traced the loop.
We found the fear underneath the rigidity.
We rebuilt a new belief:
“Listening doesn’t weaken my authority—it’s what earns it.”
And slowly, he started to lead differently.
Coaching Through Power Distortion
The work of a transformational leader or coach isn’t just to teach strategy—it’s to repair belief.
Ask:
What story are they carrying about power?
Who taught them that story?
What new belief could allow them to lead differently?
Until you rewrite the story, you’ll keep repeating the pattern.
Burn the Script: How Great Coaches Disrupt Thinking and Transform Practice webinar!
Okay, webinar might be a stretch but it will be a great time. I’m also hosting a free live event on Tuesday, July 22 at 6PM Central, where I’ll share the book’s origin story and walk through a key chapter at this link.
If you’ve ever walked out of a coaching session or tough conversation and thought, “I did everything right… so why isn’t it working?” You’re not alone.
Let’s dig into some things together!