What Do You Need to Believe to Be True to Move Forward?
Coaching Question of the Week
The Coaching Question
“What do you need to believe to be true to move forward?”
When to Use This Question
When a teacher or leader is experiencing disappointment, rejection, or failure.
When someone feels stuck after a setback and isn’t sure how to re-engage.
When coaching a person through a period of transition or identity disruption.
When a coachee is emotionally processing a loss or missed opportunity.
The Problem This Question Aims to Solve
After a painful or disappointing experience, people often fixate on what went wrong or internalize the rejection as a reflection of their worth. This can lead to self-doubt, disengagement, or fear of future opportunities. This question supports emotional processing and helps surface the beliefs a person needs to adopt in order to move forward with confidence, hope, and agency.
The Research Behind It
Growth Mindset (Dweck, 2007) – Beliefs shape behavior. If individuals believe they can learn and improve from setbacks, they are more likely to bounce back and take future risks.
Cognitive Restructuring – Changing the narrative we tell ourselves about a negative event shifts our emotional response and behavior moving forward.
Post-Traumatic Growth (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004) – People can emerge from difficult experiences with stronger identities, new purpose, and deeper self-awareness when supported in meaning-making.
Example Application in Coaching
Scenario: A teacher who applied for an instructional coach role was not selected and now feels uncertain about their future.
Coach’s Response: “What do you need to believe to be true to move forward?”
Teacher’s Reflection: “I think I need to believe that this one decision doesn’t define my leadership potential—and that I can still grow, influence others, and be ready when the next opportunity comes.”
Next Steps: The coach could support the teacher in identifying their leadership strengths, exploring what feedback (if any) could inform their growth, and designing a plan to stay connected to their purpose while continuing to lead from where they are.
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"Leadership isn't about having all the answers; it's about creating an environment where the right questions can be asked and answered." – Brené Brown
Additional Questions to Deepen the Conversation
“What belief is holding you back right now?”
“How do you want to define this moment in the story of your leadership?”
“What would someone who believed in your potential say to you right now?”
Final Reflection for Coaches and Leaders
Beliefs are the bridge between where we are and where we’re going. In the wake of disappointment, this question creates space to grieve what was lost—and also to envision what’s still possible. It offers clarity, healing, and a way forward grounded in self-trust and growth. Use this question when someone’s hope has dimmed, but their fire isn’t gone—it just needs a spark.