Skill Gaps Aren’t the Problem—Belief Gaps Are

Sometimes unlocking potential starts with unlearning

When we think about coaching, we often frame it as expanding what people see as possible. We introduce new strategies, model effective practices, and guide people toward a better version of themselves. But that’s only half the job. The other half—the harder half—is helping people unlearn the beliefs that make those possibilities invisible in the first place.

The Problem: Belief Gaps, Not Skill Gaps

• A teacher who believes “some kids just don’t want to learn” won’t fully implement new engagement strategies, no matter how many PD sessions they attend. They’ll half-heartedly try, waiting for proof that confirms their belief rather than challenging it.

• A leader who thinks “people either have leadership presence or they don’t” won’t benefit from executive coaching. They’ll dismiss feedback that suggests presence is a skill, not an innate trait.

• An employee who sees themselves as “not management material” won’t take action on the opportunities given to them. They’ll stay in their comfort zone, convinced that leadership is for someone else.

These aren’t skill gaps—they’re belief gaps. And until those belief gaps are addressed, no amount of learning will move them forward.

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How Belief Gaps Keep People Stuck

Belief gaps are insidious because they operate like filters. When people believe something isn’t possible for them (or the people they support), they subconsciously:

• Ignore evidence that contradicts their belief

• Look for proof that reinforces it

• Engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that make their belief seem true

In coaching, this means you can hand someone the best strategy in the world, but if their belief system rejects it, it will never take root.

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Coaching That Closes the Gap

So, how do we coach people through belief gaps?

1. Surface the Belief. Many limiting beliefs operate in the background, unexamined. Ask direct questions like, “What makes you say that?” or “When did you start believing this?” to bring them to the surface.

2. Introduce Counter-Evidence. Beliefs are reinforced by experience, so offer examples that challenge the assumption. “Have you ever seen a student who seemed disengaged suddenly light up when given the right challenge?”

3. Reframe the Narrative. Instead of arguing against the belief, shift the lens. “What if leadership presence isn’t something you have, but something you practice?” or “What would happen if we assumed all kids want to learn, and the challenge is finding the right way in?”

4. Test a New Reality. Challenge them to act as if the opposite of their belief were true. “For one week, let’s operate as if you were management material. What decisions would you make differently?” The goal is to generate small wins that begin rewiring the belief.

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The Hard Truth About Growth

We like to think that people just need the right tools, but that’s not enough. True change requires unlearning. It requires people to let go of old beliefs that have felt safe, even when they’ve been limiting. And that’s uncomfortable work.

When people unlearn, they unlock everything that learning alone could never achieve. Because in high-stakes environments, coaching isn’t just about growth—it’s about survival. I’ve spent my career coaching teachers, leaders, and decision-makers in high-stakes environments where mindset shifts aren’t just nice to have—they’re life or death.

As coaches, we don’t just illuminate what’s possible—we strip away what makes possibility invisible. Until people unlearn what’s holding them back, no amount of learning will move them forward.

P.S. There will be A LOT more on this subject over the next couple of months so giddy up.